Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, we all have.

Lately, I've made some mistakes regarding my health - I stopped going to CrossFit regularly. I let myself fall back into eating habits that were extremely detrimental to my health.

Worst of all - I've been trying to get by on 4-5 hours of sleep a night for the past two weeks.

I've always known sleep was important. It's just as important as what we do when we are awake - and I KNOW my body needs it. I just read an interesting article about what happens to you if you don't sleep regularly - and that you can not make up for it on the weekend.

Let me start by telling you what's been happening to me on my sleep deficit.

  • Most importantly, I'm exhausted. I can hardly keep my eyes open.
  • I get severe headaches when I'm tired, and I become extremely sensitive to light. Working on a computer makes it worse, but guess where I spend 40 hours a week.
  • I have no energy. I have so little energy that when I tried to go to CrossFit, I once dropped a bar on myself and last night I couldn't even finish.
  • I'm irritable beyond belief. One minute I'm crying, the next I'm in a fit of rage.
  • I'm a lot more harsh to myself. I have always struggled with my body image and how I feel about myself, but lately I keep calling myself a loser and crying about how fat I am. I have thus far stayed off the scale, but I know I have gained weight again based on my clothes fit. My pants and skirts are tight and I suddenly can no longer take my wedding ring on or off.
  • My house is... a wreck. There are clothes everywhere, dishes piled in the sink, shoes everywhere, dog toys and dog hair everywhere... it's just a wreck. The only think I've kept up with is the animals and the trash, and making sure I don't leave food out.
  • Last night I realized that I am out of food, heh.
  • I struggle with driving. A lot. I find myself on 'auto-pilot' and I keep finding myself in places and either I can't remember how I got there, or it wasn't where I was trying to go.
  • I forget things, and I get lost a lot. I once drove to Wal-Mart to get something, then stood in the store for 30 minutes trying to remember why I went.
  • I keep losing things. I lost my glasses on my face, once.
  • I'm mean and sensitive. I scream hurtful things at my friends and my husband; and I cry at the silliest things.
In short, I'm exhausted.  I kept telling myself, "I'll catch up on the weekend". Then this weekend came, and I was working at a dog trial from 7 AM to 4 or 5 in the afternoon both days - meaning I got up at 6 both days. I don't know how to catch up on the sleep I have already missed.

I'm considering taking a half day from work so I can go home and get some extra sleep. I know that until I get enough sleep and I stop feeling this worn out, I'm not going to make any progress.

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