Monday, April 16, 2012

Lacking drive

I missed going to CrossFit again today, and this makes day 5 since my last workout.

My husband was visiting and I knew I wouldn't go while he was home. Sunday came and went, and then it is Monday. Only, I couldn't get out of bed this morning. I had the gym bag packed, my breakfast and lunch ready - all I had to do was get up... and I couldn't do it.

Well, I'm not sure if it's a couldn't... so much as a wouldn't.

I was tired, I know... I have trouble sleeping at times (medication side effects) so I can struggle to wake up - but I know I could do it if I pushed. I have been doing it. Today just lacked the extra push.

Where does that push come from?

Is it a drive to look better, feel better, or brag that I go to CrossFit? I couldn't find a reason this morning to move out of my warm bed.

I felt lazy, sluggish, and tired - something that is still carrying over at work.

I also feel guilty - I know I should have gone and I know that I am not able to go tonight due to another engagement.

Still.... that little spark seems to have died out and I don't know what to do to get it back.


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